I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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