He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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