This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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