Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize