Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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