Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
