In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
