I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
