The maid of honor just puked.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
