You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
