don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
