The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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