She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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