how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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