i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
