You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Randomize
