Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
it glows. i had to have it.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
