Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he thought i was a dude.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
