It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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