Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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