Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
