you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize