Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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