i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
