Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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