sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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