Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
