But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
