I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
