shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
