You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize