Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
