this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
How does one acquire holy water?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize