you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Randomize
