he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
