problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
