what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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