i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
