Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
