im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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