every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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