so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
40s are totally the cure
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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