i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she pinky promised me she was 18
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
