Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I have feelings that need drinking.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
