I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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