At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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