You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
