ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
