why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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