just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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