lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
he thought i was a dude.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
