Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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