yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
