btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
