Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i love accidental penises.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
did you just send me my own nude
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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