I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
