Hey man sorry I got all grabby
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Say something about gay babies.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
