TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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