I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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