What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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