you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
do herpes really smell.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
