Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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