aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
