i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
