After last night, I could never be a politician.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Two words: nipple clamps
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