I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I got her a Nickelback box set.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
