you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize