we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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