we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
