is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
