Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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