She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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