My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
