i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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