I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
