youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
