then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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