I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
