god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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