Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
