Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
