i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
