i jhust puked up my retainher.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
