I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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