you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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