she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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